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Catch Business

17 Mar Catch Business

MOVIES WITH MEN AS MAIN CHARACTERS DEPRESS ME

 

 

closing my eyes i see everyone i’ve met online
doing their own thing in their own lives the details
of the insides of their bedrooms so clear they let me
exist online
checking to see if i’m still here i set my alarm
life isn’t as long as death but it just felt as real to me
hurting i try to be so nice but i’m a letdown
always preparing for the next
best friend i’m not mad
why does everyone think that
they want to live on the coast then somewhere else
that isn’t here
that hurts
but i don’t show it i’ve never known how to
expose myself as my real self i fear losing
my chance i don’t care this isn’t
why my phone is my hands this isn’t
why i just drank a bottle of wine less than what
i wanted someone to tell me some of my thoughts

 

ok to have forgiveness isn’t as hard as it looks

 

here is something that should’ve been a typo

 

another attempt
temporary fix

 

because you’re bored i’m boring you
i want to make a promise
pulling out the film i want to find out
what this body won’t let me do

 

i just scratched my collarbone
with one hand felt the hollow
what i wanted to be
wasn’t enough
when will i be
ok with whatever i just said

 

are you tired of telling me
these things

 

eat at me
my debt

 

another death
this is the list i want to scroll down

 

return

 

return

 

return

 


 

Catch Business is the author of able to / always will (Civil Coping Mechanisms 2016) and founding poetry editor of Witch Craft Magazine.

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