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OMEGA | Charles Gonsalves
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Charles Gonsalves

12 Dec Charles Gonsalves

ANTEPORTRAIT



after Klara du Plessis

At the threshold of a collapse before the waters
an unfocusing of the eyes interacts with the vision
and a stillness in the body produces revelation.

Behind the hands there is an entire spectrum hidden.
Behind the hands there is always trembling information
and when I am at my most affected I am at my most

perceptive. No, I do not consider this a privilege.
No, there is no adequate response to the others that we are
constantly drowning in motion. I am here, accountable,

on the other side of the event; this is when
the fabric of the ocean hung between us starts
to tear, melt. The room, the flesh, these lines that I am

seeing through an expanse of shivering bright—
K.’s vestiges of slantwise light—
everything, everything, everything a flood from and unto her.

Now someone has seen me
and the truth begins to measure the left side of my face
as gently as a butterfly kiss.

 

ANTIMONY (AGAINST LONELINESS)


1

When it is
saturday
morning And
there are no
cartoons And i
have left my
phone at home
I am alone and
drinking decaf
My pants are
wet It is raining
Am i becoming
That which i
thought i would
And am i pretty
to anyone that i
want to be
Feeling feelings
feels like all i
do With my
body I am not
convinced that
there is a soul
only a great
hole That is
never
satisfied
Depressed and
anxious The
cobblestones on
duluth still
believe that
every seven
years they
become new
people
Sullen The
children grow
up and realize
that becoming
new means
Construction
which means
Concrete
And that all
you have are
the hopes that
someone wants
to see you Take
your clothes off
But that no one
knows what to
do with your
tenderness if it
stops breathing
and they don’t
know cpr
Flesh And
breath That’s
all we are
Vaguely alive
And then
Wiped away
like milk on the
upper lip of the
house that can’t
settle or fill Its
Stomach
This is what is
important to me
For this And
because of this
I’ve already
abandoned
what i set out
to accomplish
I’m bored I’m
sure you are too
Because You
are i And I hold
you Above all
my properties
If you have
nothing to do
with my life
Why does it
feel otherwise

2a

When i cannot
hear
anything from
outside of
here I am
In your
presence
Not laughing
Not crying
either Just
feeling
Wondering If
you will (will you?)
fight
For
my attention
& If you
think it is
worth it
will you
bring all
of you and
yours To
me and
mine
will you be ok
if i take some
Time

2b

Together
I’ll believe
Once we
are
together
When I
am And
with you
Are
Together
all logics and reasons
don’t need to be But are


 

Born in Port of Spain and landing in Montreal one year ago, after an eighteen-year sojourn in Edmonton that was more virtual than actual, Charles Gonsalves is studying Western Society & Culture and English Literature at Concordia. They spend their spare time regretting that they have spare time and their occupied time planning permanent vacations to wherever there isn’t such a thing. In their mean time they write poetry and have appeared, or is forthcoming, in BAD NUDES, THE VOID, Word and Colour and MICRO//MACRO.

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