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Oscar d’Artois

14 Apr Oscar d’Artois

DEPRESNYAK

 

my new strategy for staving off the depresnyak is waking up before noon

my new strategy for waking up before noon is starving myself the day before

my new strategy for starving myself the day before is never eating before four

my new strategy for never eating before four is never waking up before noon

my new strategy for never waking up before noon is not having a job

my new strategy for not having a job is not being conscious during the times of day when it is socially acceptable to apply for one

my new strategy for not being conscious during the times of day when it is socially
acceptable to apply for jobs is lycanthropy

my lycanthropy stems from spending too much time thinking about and staring at the moon my new thing with the moon stems from ok it is a meme but also i have a soul

my new soul stems from a year ago i decided i didn’t want to rot away slowly in a manhole of
me & the only thing i could think to do to climb out of it was to write these fucking poems

& now i don’t see the point in doing much else
o well, wat can i say
i’m an idontasaurus-rex i guess

my i’m-an-idontausaurus-rex probably stems from my depresnyak

my depresnyakausaurus i like to take on walks sometimes
or maybe it’s my depresnyak that likes to take me,
idk, who cares

sometimes it flickers like its
almost extinct tho
& ok usually i’m not really pro this sort of thing, usually, but
in this case
if i was to send you a sext about keeping
our dinosaurs quasi-extinct together
would you wanna maybe come over

 


 

I FUCK WITH MINIMALISM

 

our 2 nearly identical Ultra Lite grey laptops lying on either side of
the straw mat + futon on the hardwood floor
in the very vintage apartment with the dollhouse coffee cups

yr frank o’hara suggestively rubs up against my rilke
in our tastefully selective collection of ~10-14 books

u have been saying you don’t like some things that i like
& ive been making long lists of everything that is wrong with you in my head in response
again, more, lately

altho recently we had a fight & u cried
so now i am in love w/ u again

i have been thinking phrases like
‘eros as it relates to the ancient chinese torture method of lingchi’
again, more, lately

also, somebody’s cat on instagram
is a lot more famous than they are

 


 

BECAUSE OF COURSE WHEN WE CRITICIZE OUR FRIENDS WE ARE ALSO CRITICIZING OURSELVES, YES?

 

this morning i tried to google pizza but my fingers googled yr ex instead

& do you remember in the dream how the idea of death seemed made up
before the hypnic jerk thing happened & i woke up & then wait how could u remember that

if there’s one thing i kno for sure it’s this:
grab a book any book before leaving the house & u bet the one u wind up carrying around will never be the one u secretly want to be reading,
unless of course it is

ok, confession time:
the way i spice up my lyfe if i am feeling bored with it is
i slowly allow myself to be backed into a corner of my mind i cant emerge from
& then experience hostility towards everything that people say

also did u kno that puberty is greek for an increase in the general weightiness of things
just kidding, i don’t speak greek
also, i’m not pubescent

& its not like i dont wanna tell u about the birds of bushwick the way they do loops in the sky how when they swerve it looks like they have scales & are doing flips underwater in the sun
even tho it is dusk in midwinter & yr wondering wat the hell are we going to do now

its just that i don’t have very much to say

ok but, now that we’re having this great, open, shared confession time
here are a couple more on my end:

yes i have hidden in multiple showers
in different cities
at various points in my life

& yes, the wikipedia page for ‘post-coital tristesse’ provides an enlightening
if not necessarily encouraging biological explanation of
the number of hours i spent just sort of
staring at the tree outside yr bedroom window

& yes, i moved to bedstuy
& now i listen to hip-hop

look i’m into depression as much as the next guy
i just wish it came in small translucent capsules w different dosages
& maybe an extended-release option too

& i wish i cld just feed u a lil of mine or
maybe i’d just want some of yrs or
maybe both or
no wait on second thought i think i’d like a sampler tray of all kinds of feelings from all kindsa
ppl, so i could lay them out on the coffee table & snort them all at once
a sample of how it felt for you to be a kid
& a sample of yr first encounter w the void
& a sample of the first time a song u had no idea would triggeringly remind u of so & so came
on in a café & u started crying uncontrollably into your everything bagel in a way that felt very
‘o god this existence wat’ as u hobbled out of the café & into the too too bright day

yeah
& then i’d snort it all up
a little of mine
& a little of yrs
& a little of ‘that girl’’s
& a little of yr mom’s
& sure why not a little of so & so’s for good measure

& then
right before i collapsed from the stroke or the internal henorrhaging or
just the general too muchness of the world, idk, wtv,
i’d want u to kiss me
like one of your french girls

 


Oscar Bruno D’Artois was born in 1989 in Paris, France. Right now, he lives between Brooklyn and Berlin. He likes to put a banana in when he makes guacamole.

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