01 Nov Elizabeth Schmuhl
I am your dream date. I have nice teeth and good hair and I smile when I’m supposed to and I get quiet when I’m supposed to and I also don’t cost much at all I get by on very little and I sometimes am considered little or at least not at all fat and that is another attribute that makes me your dream date.
You’ve probably thought about coming on my face or breasts or ass or push/pulling me or breaking me in someway already because that is what you always do with your dream dates especially before you date them because asserting your power – especially in your mind before hand – is essential to having a guaranteed future dream date even though you never talk about this at the dream date especially not on the first dream date but it is what got you there in the first place it is the horse that carried you with your tough leather saddle (even though leather is just hardened skin and skin is soft before it dries and made of things like stars and the ocean but of course you don’t think of that you just ride the horse to your dream dates all high and mighty).
And I am your dream date because I am also I mirror I am the ideal specimen to reflect your ideal version of your back towards yourself because again my teeth/ hair/ body because again all of the places you want to come on/in/over/through so let me just sit here and wait for you, comb my hair brush my teeth inspect inspect inspect for you because that’s what a dream date does looks in the mirror and looks past the stars the ocean and commits to something like dream date then sings softly while putting on makeup waiting for the sound of hooves.
Elizabeth Schmuhl is a writer and multidisciplinary artist whose work is published in PANK, Michigan Quarterly Review, Big Lucks, Paper Darts, and elsewhere. Her full-length book, Presto Agitato: A Dictionary of Modern Movement, is out from Zoo Cake Press, with a limited run edition out from dancing girl press in early 2016. She illustrates essays for The Rumpus and is currently teaching at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Find her online.