“hey tim i’m taking a mental health day”
“hey tim, the father gold rode me mental”
“hey tim, mental health tanks dissolving gold gaza”
“hey tim, these day takes more fathers”
“hey tim i saw a truck with stickers of
old growth forests
now i am losing my skin in the park
No stable, only curling
i am not real
i belong to the grove
where rules gasp
don’t say unprecedented
i leave early
i listen closely
is it else-hood?
are my cells in protest
are trees making boundaries
even Concrete is a metaphor
even concrete belongs
even buildings want Breath
their clipped wings Otherwise
slugging sunlit solitude
Housing our misery
Certainty could never
i’m begging you
to Love this entire hole
the grass drunk in Allowance
Do not be afraid
let palms cup the Open
you are safe to crack your Promise
rub your ankles back on the Loam
damp, the way It joins you
the Source of blush and time
the Humid and brown
is This what we wanted?
to Die before we die
using the Wind
on forged emails
congo’s gold
so i could be seen
all these crusts
contouring the possible
is your bcc: a spell
are you a secret
blink twice
if you can tolerate
the torrent of Together”
still i try to love us
we are too busy
moaning over
cadaver clip
alliship
rust belts
is an investment in
unmaking the
Earth’s chest
(it is all Her chest)
we don’t ask
where it hurts
either
darling dopamine
hit club
still try to love us
its like loving
a father who doesn’t
hold your
hand anymore
obsessed with form
and control calls
cornering affect for
good results
just to get it right
i’m not depressed
i just want perfect
perfect bio
perfect pic at
protest plowing
my reverence for
living without
asking what battle
i house today
in here in body way
always this battle
i talk to my body
like they talked
about the Land
“work more”
a fortune is not a fortune
if it steals from longitude
it was never Gold
it was the Land’s pore,
why did we Steal
a pore
Earth’s lung pulsing
forming peonies
knuckles of soft fruit
made into market acquisition
and suv’s in california
with no driver but they painted
the outside white in case
trees: i cannot feel anymore
they we ruined haiti
they made us forget about 1791
and 1804 and before
they sliced it in half
then in half then half
again until you could
not recognize her face
the pursuit was
supposed to be enough
but pursuits always
bring us back to
what got us on the boat
in the first place
i want white to die
not i want us all dead
but this thing this
soothing war
be sky everywhere but die
lower to ground level
rung with moss heads and
the promise of algae but die
collapse but die
i promise us each
parrot each raw grass
protein cell and rose leaf wall
scribble tail dna twist
walmart textile will celebrate it
but die and black tea leaf
each ancestor and each inch
will sing as we take our
place underneath the rot
the reptile storms will love us
the feet of water the oil sand
particles the poetry of losing
but die the skin on fire
the river party
the red ease
maybe die will
become Life
but die
maybe die will seed
but die
maybe we will dance hard
and become
the up-swing of a breath
like every piece
of Life out here
but die
maybe we die
and become
every other
piece of Life
out here
but die
“rupture rupture
speak to me
what does whiteness
hide from me”
you smoke
i spiral
we dance
you fast
like loss
no word
no asking
no ember
no shore
no risk
no hold
no finish
no fish
no rescue
no ease
just a promise
with your garage
you ache
i dared
i cry
at our fridge picture
i meet your new kid
gripping your waist
unwrapping her iPad
you’re in someone’s love
again
i drive home
wincing
this dog i drag
waiting
so i can text you
to tell you that
i go to therapy
i do good
i study you
like a highway
my chest
has another cave
pepsi bodies the river onto
torso and breast milk chemicals
i weep modern plastic
“trans makes you feel”
i’ll tell you about salaried state church people
the protest of a body
how translucent
a body is what happens
so trees can know us
“trans is a landing place”
not a political callous
with multi government names
the world says a lot stop with nicknames
instead focus on plastic splinters and
y2k renewal featuring thin white people
turning away from time’s passing
“trans is a surrender”
i leave body after the Birch call
they show me how they were born
God once told me
“trans is a prayer come through a body”
a colleague reminds me of
an ex reminds me of you
reminds me of the wide earth
scarring 3 500 belly up
fish from the chemical plant
reminds me of the way borders
eat for encasing
reminds me how paint dries
and can be felt as
something different
reminds me of geese flying home
reminds me of belly laugh from
before you were 40
the hill shapeshifting from heat
and tourists
reminds the way breathing
is a mother to one lung then the other
reminds me before summer
there is spring
reminds me of the garage door
you closed and wished something
to leave
i use for: endearing soil science, ribcage lining, throat of wound or is it the wound of thus far, the algae tumbling, mounds of country milk, mosaicism or narcissism, ‘synthetic mystic w/ no boundaries, the imperfect sear, seemed good plan, seemed bullet proof, until i edge the porch door, strike a light, sucked a sort, reunited with Father, shame print, green alameda, heaven-lite, just a body belong, inseam treasure, God bubble, beam pull, oh nic, oh knock, oh bust knee, oh bruise heavy, the wound loves you, le soleil too, Life forgives you, zoom out, go zonal, go cut piece, go in peace i’m stoned, stones find me, grass leg, little longer, gaping arm, wheels going, i dig, i joke, i inside dirt, j’ai peur de l’absolu, is this mom, is this soma, is this too, does eternity like me, will gelato mint make something of me , can edge move, can hope hurt, can buds billow, can belly just belly, can the bone trick me, and what about becoming, and the debt of this living?