LATE MILLENNIALISM ❋ Rachelle Toarmino
our planet is dying, and I don’t understand
why pussy hats? or how Diplo?
can’t we go back to simpler times
when party was still a verb and we all got
our poems from Fire Hot Quotes?
so I’m in the middle of pinning “Shakira’s Secrets
for Loving Every Day of Your Life” to my
miscellaneous board when the roofers catch me
making one-ingredient banana ice cream in my
office. they don’t know I have summers off. hey,
if Jack Black gets to have a successful career,
then so do I.
I’m balayage-curious, my life divided into pre-
and post-Fitbit. I’m destroying the hotel industry
with a Leo rising. link in bio.
I’m at the bar signing
the customer copy. I’m at a professional
development called “Get More Likes
in the Classroom.”
my love language is flower
emojis. my kink? when he puts his
listen: If you can explain to me why bad
credit sometimes happens to good people,
I’ll show you the secret section in Urban Outfitters
where they keep the regular shirts. I’ll get you
under 140 characters. I’ll crack the color
right off that outfit.
for heaven’s sake: when am I not
coming of age?