POEM BEGINNING WITH FALSEHOOD ❋ Shazia Hafiz Ramji

I imagine you jerking off to parts
from Society of the Spectacle

your face lethargic like after
smoking a bowl on a Wednesday

in my bed in red sheets stained
with somebody else’s cum

I feel good, I feel fantastic

lying in bed with someone else
lying in bed and lying to myself

an auto-tuned track that does not end

even when you cry and watch me
make the mistake of thinking

I can out-think everything. Now I want to say
I’ve got Marcuse! I’ve got Deleuze!

Now I want to say I feel like
Michael Fassbender’s character

at the end of Shame when he looks
at the person on the train and looks away.

Even then I imagine touching myself
while you’re in my bed and your eyes are closed
and wet.