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- 7 hours ago

@rchlltrmn: huge news: for $4.50 you can now get a greeting card featuring my worst viral tweet of all time. great for all occasions! and in great company—listed between george eliot and (saying) on the @QuotableCards website. i make royalties from this so please consider buying a few dozen
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🌱♾️ New✨ Infinity style ♾️🌱 Get in the mindset here:
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- 6 days ago

@metatronpress: We are accepting chapbook submissions of poetry (35 pages and under) for digital publication! Deadline: February 1, 2023 For more info and to submit:
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- 8 days ago

@PlenitudeMag: "The speculative fiction novella is set in a liminal future-scape inhabited by tenacious Black survivors on the Bay of Fundy." -from a new review of Trynne Delaney (@u_got_trynned)'s the-half drowned, published by @metatronpress! Review by seeley quest
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OMEGA | Suzanna Derewicz
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Suzanna Derewicz

05 Dec Suzanna Derewicz


Covered in dollar store brand VapoRub, stinging my eyes
I cough up a paper bill on the walk to Comedy Central. Order takeout
of considerable size (I haven’t eaten anything today but the can
of Campbell’s soup. Messed up my stove). I consider the Roast

of Justin Bieber, of which I am sure to check the expiry date. I consider
how it was released eight months before my friends and I suddenly started
defending his music to our other friends, following him on Spotify, suddenly.
While they had to go and get angry at all of our honesty, we hid away

our cell screens on morning commutes.         I put on the Roast –
dipping my sleeve in two-day old chamomile, I watch this
teenage Judas basted on his birthday by a person like me, whose intro, bio
before a feature, in a lit mag, is longer than any Wikipedia page they will ever own.

Or by a person who is “famous for exposing Bill Cosby, and only
exposing Bill Cosby.” Or, the most successful rappers of 2001 who do their best.
Encourage 21-year-old doggy dogs not to pool that same infectious smear
I’ve pooled on my shirt today, the one with the basketballs.

I imagine being Shaq’s favourite poet (sorry).
I imagine being on Ellen fourteen times and being called legend when I am
#OLDASFUCK. I imagine eight months from now, sitting in a recording studio – or
maybe just a studio apartment – waiting

like he did for PURPOSE to drop. For the prize to come in, for my contest result.
For that e-mail from Prism or CV2, for my lines to get longer. For the line ups
of my fantasy book signings to get longer. For my friends to start defending me
(to my other friends). For Tylenol –       sorry.



Suzanna Derewicz is a writer based in Toronto, Canada. She has recently been published in the Minola Review,, In/Words Magazine, (parenthetical), untethered, The Quilliad, and has poetry forthcoming in Peach Mag. Her debut chapbook Maggie Monologues will be released in Fall 2016 by words(on)pages press.

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