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OMEGA | Mallory Smart
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Mallory Smart

12 May Mallory Smart

WHEN YOU WERE JUNG

 

 

you began like two people on a rock

you stood, drinking coffee on a rock

your life in shambles on a rock

and you are still on your rock and it is spinning

you wonder if there is other sentient life

you wonder if there are better things to do

and so you find better things to do

you hold hands with some boy on a rock

you place mouths together on a rock

swallow down spit from time to time

you watch other people say nothing

you watch lights glow from palms, eyes attached to their palms

you are alive

the wood you breathe grows with flakes of green

your cigarette soaked breath huffed into tiny bursts of sun

your light spills out of your mouth

everyone IS and everything in your life IS perfect

you are okay as you are

you are as okay as you will be

you will devote a lifetime to being online

you will devote a lifetime talking to strangers

you will devote a lifetime and in that lifetime you will receive dick pics from tinder

dick picks from facebook

dick pics from whatsapp

and dick pics from twitter

you will sit and read poetry

tiny specs of space dust fall will upon the ground where you sometimes sit

atoms split and the universe tears

somewhere near perhaps, someone is thinking of kissing you

and you are there where you sometimes sit, thinking of kissing them

neutrons pop in the air above and go flying

you will watch and seriously try to think of something clever to tweet

you will think from the standpoint of someone better than who you are, a celebrity perhaps

maybe Tegan or Sara

and eventually the concept of existing will lose all meaning

the glitches in the matrix will soften the blues in your eyes

the contours of your face will shine

digital catfish will bottom feed off the bottom feeders

water will trickle down the hills of your body

you will miss the time that now is dying

and will want to live in this world forever

you watch from where you sometimes sit, a blackout blur the the lines between two people
you see the world unite into one gigantic muted yell

a girl cries to herself in bed

she’ll stay awake at night tweeting: the gaslight is not done gaslighting

you will open your mouth wide enough to swallow the sun

and you will swallow the pain

from a mouth once swigging pbr

from a mouth that can recite all lines from archer

from a mouth now pressed against yours

from a mouth that means more than any other mouth that seriously still drinks pbr

you will say that there should be a crushing effect to all this crying

you will try to see all the beautiful

you will say that indie music something that is here to stay

parents will say that your life is an unproductive waste of time

parents will say that you should get a job

but there are beings predisposed to living online

your love is like a tiger meme, it needs to be digital

you will say just about ANYTHING about everything because you can

and considering building 7, anything is possible

when you was younger, you were told you could become anything you wanted

you became antisocial and addicted to web 2.0

you will wake up every morning unaware of what to do next, aimlessly wandering

you will wander with your macbook searching for a room that you might fit in

your favourite room to fit in in is in Starbucks

you will still not know what to say to the Starbucks barista every morning…

you will think of the new world order and how capitalism will destroy us all

you think we should hold hands online and live together forever

you will dream of this new world
and worry about how people fade everyday

there is a world that they fade to that hasn’t been discovered yet

a world that exists without Snapple facts

you live in a world that has them

you will look under the lid of your Snapple and read- “Snapple fact #5621: depression is just the feeling of being sad”

in the end everybody will know you are sad

the book you read is sad

the words you type are sad

there is a kind of sadness in the way that you tweet

you will stay up late tonite tweeting fucked up things like

and you will go to sleep in your bed wishing that you made someone happy

 


 

Mallory Smart (@malsmart) is a Chicago-based writer and is the Editor-in-Chief of Maudlin House. She is the author of I’m AntiSocial, Coffee Never Lies and HIPSTER IDIOT. Her first full-length poetry collection, I Want To Feel Happy But I Only Feel__. is coming out soon.

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